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Pruning fruit trees is very important. It allows the sun to reach all areas of the tree so that the fruit will be better and the tree will live longer Armed with my best sewing scissors and a ladder, I marched right outside swearing I would not call someone to do it for me. I managed to get the ladder opened after thirty minutes and a pinched thumb, and then I climbed right up that thing feeling like Jack on the beanstalk.

Then I reached the first limb, and even though I suddenly realized that I knew nothing about pruning fruit trees, I was sure it wouldn't be too hard. I attempted to cut a smaller limb from my tree, and realized that the scissors wouldn't do the job. So I got my husband's chain saw.

It had to be more effective than scissors, after all. Except I didn't anticipate how loud it would be! It startled me. I flung it away on the ground and fell backwards off the ladder. Lucky for me that the grass is soft. I swore at the stupid chain saw, then we back up the ladder with it. I was prepared this time; I started again.

I was about to learn that chain saws are very sharp. I tried cutting that small limb again. The chain saw was aggressive and chomped into six and half limbs. My beautiful tree! About 1/4th of it was lying on the ground, and boy, was I really ticked off. Not to mention the fact that when those limbs fell, one of them hit me right in the forehead and left a big scratch. I would not give up.

How hard can pruning fruit trees possibly be? Getting the hedge shears, I climbed up in the tree this time. On the way up, I accidentally kicked the ladder over.

I was absolutely fuming as I waited until my husband found me in that bleeping fruit tree. I was bleeding from the head and had dirt all over my butt. My husband was laughing as I made my way back towards the house. I gave one last withering look to the tree and muttered, "Until next year!"